https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trrEzn6-HPc
This is something of a hard song to share. It about that period of adjustment in the first year that I was living alone for the first time in my life. As a widower I had an intense relationship with my own sense of existence. What did it mean to exist as opposed to not existing? This is a late existentialist night song that I have attempted to chivvy up with a jaunty hat to prove that life doesn’t feel like this anymore (most of the time!)
Lyrics:
I’ve got to be somewhere, and I’m here
I’ve got to be somewhere and I’m alone
I’ve got to be somewhere and I’m here and it’s now
I’ve got to be somewhere and I’m alone now
All day I’ve questioned why I’ve got to be somewhere
Wished I could fly from my skin
But I can feel real start to win
I’m letting normal in
It’s been a day of goodbyes
All the little parting
Make the big wound gape wider
I’ve got to be somewhere and I’m back home and safe
Singing, fingers finding chord shapes
I’ve got to be somewhere I’m here, now
I open the front door in silence
I don’t shout into empty
I always used to shout I’m back
But the walls don’t need to be told
They can see for themselves
But the stand mute and cold
Not listening to this song
But that’s walls for you, you can’t interest them in a sing-a-long
I’ve got to be somewhere and I’m here now
That’s the best I can do tonight
It’s the best I can do.
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