https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmdGwxP1pbs
I was asked to contribute something to a magazine for Widows and Widowers. I felt a bit lost and didn’t know what I wanted to write. I went outside to chop some wood (in my dungarees). Half an hour later I came in, sat down at the piano and wrote this.
Sorry it’s not a Halloween song, or a birthday song to myself, but the song clearly wanted to come into the world. So here it is……
Past Tense
All the way home I tried
To feel the way I used to feel
Nostalgia always lies,
Chasing lost nights, I’m losing tonight
Always part of me looking back
Always part lost in loss
However I try to say I am
There’s always part that says I was,
And I was, So lucky, so in love
So stupid, I was
And I was,
So happy, so in love
So blind, I was
Yes I spend nights alone
Sometimes I care, sometimes I don’t
He was the heart of my home
Now I am the heart wherever I go
Always part of me looking back
I am made of the darkness of loss
But everyday I say I am
I am now because I was
Always part of me yearning to live
Somehow says past be damned
Tho’ there’s a cry that says I was
There’s a shout that says I am
And I am
So lucky, so in love
Stubborn & stupid, I am
And I am,
So happy, so in love
Blithely blind, I am
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