https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdTP-UKeyNg
A trip into the recent past for me. I took a fragment I wrote in the early days of being widowed and made them into this song. I wanted to capture something of the moodswings, the serenity and the panic, and the wry humour that I remember from that time.
Widower
If I cried would you believe me then
If each tear was photo-spread perfect
Would you believe it?
I’m tougher than I look
Not hard because I look pretty fucked
If I laughed at every word you said would you stop speaking?
If each smile was family party snapsnot fake
Would you wait til I was myself again?
I’m tougher than I look but then
How often do any of us really ever look?
To hell with what you want me to be
You don’t want to think about me
I do, let’s speak frankly and you want to think about you
All of us do. Not you but…
That doesn’t depress me, it liberates me, sets me free
I’m weaker than I look,
Ha! Made you look!